{"id":7324,"date":"2018-10-29T00:17:29","date_gmt":"2018-10-28T21:17:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/?p=7324"},"modified":"2019-02-18T18:18:12","modified_gmt":"2019-02-18T15:18:12","slug":"cotetul-metafore-cutremur-optional","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/?p=7324","title":{"rendered":"Cote\u021bul cu metafore – Cutremur… op\u021bional"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"

De vreo dou\u0103 zile-ncoace,
\nO problem\u0103 nu-mi d\u0103 pace,
\nM\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc \u0219i-ncep s\u0103 tremur:
\nC\u00e2nd mai vine un cutremur?<\/p>\n

C\u0103 la Buz\u0103u, mai ales,
\nNe cutremur\u0103m mai des.
\nC\u00e2te unul, c\u00e2te dou\u0103,
\nA\u0219a, cum ne place nou\u0103!<\/p>\n

-Tu \u0219tii ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 asta?
\nMi-am \u00eentrebat eu nevasta…
\n-M\u0103i, b\u0103rbate e\u0219ti cam… dus!
\n\u0218i doar \u0219tii, c\u0103 \u021bi-am mai spus!<\/p>\n

De unde s\u0103 \u0219tiu eu,
\nSemnele lui Dumnezeu?
\nChiar \u00een ceruri de-am s\u0103 fiu
\n\u0218i tot n-a\u0219 putea s\u0103 \u0219tiu!<\/p>\n

– Care semne, m\u0103i nevast\u0103?
\nCred c\u0103 e\u0219ti \u00een zi nefast\u0103…
\nEu te-ntreb cu-ngrijorare,
\nC\u0103 n-avem asigurare!<\/p>\n

\u0218i cred, dup\u0103 capul meu,
\nC\u0103-i semn de la Dumnezeu!
\nCe aduce profit mare
\nFirmelor de-asigurare!<\/p>\n

\u0218i-ar mai fi o \u0219mecherie
\nCare-i de la prim\u0103rie
\nCare, de te controleaz\u0103,
\nIute te \u0219i amendeaz\u0103!<\/p>\n

Ca s\u0103 vezi, ce lucru mare,
\nFiindc\u0103 n-ai… asigurare!
\nDe \u00ee\u021bi vine, pe cuv\u00e2nt!
\nS\u0103-\u021bi faci cas\u0103… sub p\u0103m\u00e2nt!<\/p>\n

Fiindc\u0103, a\u0219 putea s\u0103 zic,
\nDac\u0103 m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc un pic:
\nUn cutremur e banal
\nPe l\u00e2ng\u0103… Codul Fiscal!<\/p>\n

De el scapi, cu minim risc,
\n\u00cens\u0103 nu mai scapi de…Fisc!
\nIar \u00een a vie\u021bii balan\u021b\u0103,
\nAt\u00e2rn\u0103 mai greu o…chitan\u021b\u0103!<\/p>\n

Degeaba faci rug\u0103ciuni
\nDac\u0103 nu ai nervii buni
\nDegeaba dai acatiste
\nDac\u0103 \u021bii bani-n batiste…<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd se scutur\u0103 p\u0103m\u00e2ntul,
\nTe g\u00e2nde\u0219ti c\u0103-\u021bi vine r\u00e2ndul,
\n\u0218i-atunci \u021bi-e mai drag\u0103 via\u021ba
\nC\u00e2nd vezi c\u0103 se rupe a\u021ba…<\/p>\n

\u00cens\u0103 c\u00e2nd te ia din via\u021b\u0103,
\nDumnezeu nu-\u021bi d\u0103 chitan\u021b\u0103
\nNu mai zic de bon fiscal…
\nLucrul \u0103sta-i fapt banal…<\/p>\n

-Ia!… Uite-acuma \u00eenc\u0103 unul!
\nNu vreau s\u0103 fac pe nebunul,
\nS-a mi\u0219cat cu mine patul…
\nA-nceput iar scuturatul!<\/p>\n

Nevast\u0103, ia treci sub grind\u0103,
\n\u00cempreun\u0103 s\u0103 ne prind\u0103,
\nDe ne-or scoate sub ruine,
\n\u0218i pe mine \u0219i pe tine!<\/p>\n

-Stai, b\u0103rbate, stai a\u0219a
\n\u0218i nu te mai panica
\nTaci \u0219i mai stai locului
\nN-ai tu grija blocului…<\/p>\n

-Doamne, ce om e\u0219ti, fat\u0103,
\nDe e\u0219ti a\u0219a relaxat\u0103?
\nIo m\u0103 dau de ceasul mor\u021bii
\n\u0218i tu, calm\u0103-\u021bi speli… chilo\u021bii!<\/p>\n

-Ia vezi, dac\u0103-\u021bi dau o palm\u0103,
\nO s\u0103 vezi c\u00e2t sunt de calm\u0103!
\nO s\u0103 ai surpriza vie\u021bii
\nC\u00e2nd s-or zgudui pere\u021bii!<\/p>\n

-Nevast\u0103, ia fii atent\u0103
\nNu-i cazul s\u0103 fii violent\u0103,
\n\u0218i nu da, c\u0103-ncep s\u0103 tremur,
\nMai ceva ca la… cutremur!<\/p>\n

-Hai, mai bine, s\u0103-ncerc\u0103m,
\nS\u0103 vedem cum proced\u0103m:
\nOri d\u0103m bani pe-asigurare,
\nOri cerem Lui \u00eendurare!<\/p>\n

Dup\u0103 cum v\u0103d io treaba,
\nAm\u00e2ndou\u0103 or fi degeaba!
\nC\u0103ci, p\u0103m\u00e2ntul de se crap\u0103,
\nNici Dumnezeu nu ne scap\u0103!<\/p>\n

-M\u0103i, b\u0103rbate, am un plan
\nCe-i valabil pe un an:
\nIa, f\u0103 tu asigurarea
\n\u0218i eu o s\u0103-I cer iertarea!<\/p>\n

-Nevast\u0103, e\u0219ti o comoar\u0103!
\n\u0218i \u00ee\u021bi spun a mia oar\u0103!
\nIar\u0103\u0219i m\u0103 uime\u0219ti femeie!
\nCum \u00ee\u021bi vine-a\u0219a idee?<\/p>\n

C\u0103 eu nu m-a\u0219 fi g\u00e2ndit
\nZece vie\u021bi de-a\u0219 fi tr\u0103it!
\nDe-aia-i bine c\u00e2nd femeia
\nVine, dom’le, cu ideea!…<\/p>\n

Da, nevast\u0103, \u0219i-a\u0219a-i bine!
\nDar, ascult\u0103 \u0219i la mine!
\nAm un plan de mare risc:
\nD\u0103m acatiste la… Fisc!<\/p>\n

\u0218i dup\u0103 cum g\u00e2ndesc eu,
\nCerem bon lui… Dumnezeu!
\nA\u0219a, s\u0103 nu-mi uit cuv\u00e2ntul,
\n\u00cempac cerul \u0219i p\u0103m\u00e2ntul!<\/p>\n

-B\u0103rbate, nu e\u0219ti chiar prost
\n\u0218i ce spui chiar are rost…
\nDar, ia gata cu lirismul,
\nC\u0103 s-a terminat seismul!<\/p>\n

P\u00e2n\u0103 ne-om alege planul,
\nCred c\u0103 se sf\u00e2r\u0219e\u0219te anul!
\nAcum, zic s\u0103 ne iubim
\nPoate m\u00e2ine n-o s\u0103 fim!<\/p>\n

Ia mai f\u0103-m\u0103 tu s\u0103 tremur.
\nLas\u0103-l dracu’ de cutremur!
\nS\u0103 l\u0103s\u0103m noi totul balt\u0103,
\nP\u00e2n-om fi pe lumea ailalt\u0103!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Cutremur… op\u021bional De vreo dou\u0103 zile-ncoace, O problem\u0103 nu-mi d\u0103 pace, M\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc \u0219i-ncep s\u0103 tremur: C\u00e2nd mai vine un<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":6643,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"colormag_page_container_layout":"default_layout","colormag_page_sidebar_layout":"default_layout","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"video_url":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[317,2,1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7324"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7324"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7324\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7325,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7324\/revisions\/7325"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6643"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7324"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7324"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7324"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}