{"id":6289,"date":"2018-01-14T23:00:41","date_gmt":"2018-01-14T20:00:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/?p=6289"},"modified":"2018-01-14T23:04:33","modified_gmt":"2018-01-14T20:04:33","slug":"caruta-virgule-povestiri-alta-planeta","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/?p=6289","title":{"rendered":"C\u0103ru\u021ba cu virgule &#8211; Povestiri de pe alt\u0103 planet\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/image-1-e1515959898532.png\" data-rel=\"lightbox-image-0\" data-rl_title=\"\" data-rl_caption=\"\" title=\"\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-src=\"http:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/image-1-293x300.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"293\" height=\"300\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-6291 lazyload\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 293px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 293\/300;\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/image-1-293x300.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"293\" height=\"300\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-6291\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><br \/>\n     Fra\u021bilor \u00eentru pahare, m\u0103 \u0219ti\u021bi c\u0103 io sunt cam de pe alt\u0103 planet\u0103, da\u2019 d\u00e2n c\u00e2te am auzit \u0219i io la vea\u021ba mea, cic\u0103 noi, \u0103\u0219tia, b\u0103ie\u021bii, suntem d\u0103 p\u0103 Marte, iar ele, fetili, femeile adic\u0103, cic\u0103 ar fi d\u0103 p\u0103 Venus&#8230; Adic\u0103telea, cum ar veni, \u00ees \u0219i io oleac\u0103 de mar\u021bipan\u2026 mar\u021bian de-\u0103la! Prostii, v\u0103 spui io!&#8230; Nu, bre! Nu io spui prostii acuma! \u0102la de-a zis asta!&#8230; Na, c\u0103 am uitat ce-am vrut s\u0103 zic!&#8230; Nu m\u0103 mai \u00eentrerupe\u021bi, v\u0103 rog io frumos!&#8230;<br \/>\n    Ce ziceam?&#8230; A! Da!&#8230; Cu Venusu&#8217; \u0219i cu Martele&#8230; P\u0103i, da! Io, v\u0103 spui drept, m\u0103 mai g\u00e2ndesc din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd cum ar deveni chestia asta cu planetarele&#8230; ptiu!&#8230; cu planetele astea! P\u0103i s\u0103 v\u0103 spui io, c\u0103 de la mine de pe planet\u0103 se vede cum se-nt\u00e2mpl\u0103 p\u0103 Venus ne\u0219te chestii care dep\u0103\u0219esc ne\u0219te treburi&#8230; V-a\u021bi prins? Ei, dac\u0103 v-a\u021bi prins, \u021bine\u021bi-v\u0103 bini di t\u0103t! Ce s-o mai d\u0103m de gard! Am zis noi c\u0103 planeta aia e prea departe, da&#8217; iote c\u0103 pentru unii e mai aproape dec\u00e2t pentru al\u021bii. C\u0103 au ajuns acolo \u0219i, ce s\u0103 vezi? au confiscat-o! Ni\u0219te mar\u021bieni degenera\u021bi-c\u0103 altfel n-am cum s\u0103 le zic!- m\u0103re se vorbir\u0103 \u0219i se socotir\u0103 cum s\u0103 puie la p\u0103m\u00e2nt \u0219i ultima urm\u0103 d\u0103 industrie d\u00e2n or\u0103\u0219elul nostru s\u0103rac. Pardon! S\u0103rat\u2026 \u0218i pentru c\u0103 nu mai erea n&#8217;ica d\u0103 demolat, s-au apucat d\u0103 Venus! Cum care Venus? \u0102la negru, de  respira greu&#8230; Cu uleiuri, cu de-alea&#8230; E unii care zice c\u0103 p-acolo s-au \u00eent\u00e2mplat \u0219i lucruri necurate, da&#8217; parc\u0103 po\u021bi s\u0103 crezi toate bazaconiile? \u0218i dac\u0103 s-or fi \u00eent\u00e2mplat, or fi fost p\u0103 partea&#8230; \u00eentunecat\u0103, c\u0103 nu le-a v\u0103zut niminea, a\u0219a c\u0103 s\u0103 le fie d\u0103 bine! Or fi fost niscaiva reptilieni d-\u0103ia, c\u0103 oaminii normali n-ar fi capabili de a fi \u00een stare de a putea s\u0103 fac\u0103 a\u0219a ceva&#8230; Ei, da, a\u0219a e, cum v\u0103 v\u0103z \u0219i cum m\u0103 vide\u021bi! \u0218i chiar dac\u0103 nu m\u0103 vide\u021bi, merge\u021bi de vide\u021bi voi cu ochi\u0219orii vo\u0219tri&#8230; Bine, acu\u2019 e prea t\u00e2rziu, c\u0103 nu mai ave\u021bi ce videa, da\u2019 or\u0219ic\u00e2t!&#8230; C\u0103 m\u00e2ine-poim\u00e2ine o s\u0103 pl\u00e2nge\u021bi c\u0103 a disp\u0103rut \u0219i Venusu&#8217; da\u2019 pl\u00e2nge\u021bi d\u0103geaba&#8230; S-a tot t\u0103iat \u0219i s-a c\u0103rat&#8230; ca la moar\u0103!&#8230; \u0102ia de s-a apucat d\u0103 t\u0103iat, a vrut ei s\u0103 fie discre\u021bi, da&#8217; nu prea le-a ie\u0219it, c\u0103 n-ai cum s\u0103 nu vezi ma\u0219inili care tot intra \u0219i ie\u0219ea ele de-acolo cu \u021bevi \u0219i alte fiare&#8230; s\u0103lbatice! Acuma mi-a picat mie fisa! C\u0103 p\u0103 p\u0103m\u00e2ntu&#8217; \u0103sta, ezist\u0103 extratere\u0219trii p\u00e2ntre noi! C\u0103 iote cum s\u0103 d\u0103scurc\u0103 iei \u00eenghi\u021bind frumuse\u021be d\u0103 f\u0103bricu\u021b\u0103 \u0219i face iei bani, iar restu&#8217; lumii e s\u0103raci de n-are unde dormi noaptea&#8230;\u0102\u0219tia o s\u0103 haleasc\u0103 toat\u0103 planeta asta de ne-a mai r\u0103mas, la ce foame v\u0103z io c\u0103 are p\u0103 iei!&#8230;A\u0219a, \u0219i cum v\u0103 spusei d\u0103 \u0103ia care a m\u00e2ncat ei ditamai planeta\u2026 C\u00e2nd t\u0103ia ei \u0219i fura, a dat de ne\u0219te z\u0103c\u0103minte d\u0103 ulei! Care a ie\u0219it ele d\u0103 bun\u0103voie d\u00e2n rezervoarele unde era \u021binute ostatice d\u0103 \u0103ia care era proprietarii planetei\u2026 \u0218i d\u0103 bucurie c\u0103 a sc\u0103pat ele d\u00e2n prizonierat, uleiurile a invadat solul venusian p\u00e2n\u0103 la poluare! Phiii! N\u0103caz mare! A venit zGarda de Mediu, care, parc\u0103 era \u0219i ea d\u0103 p\u0103 alt\u0103 planet\u0103, c\u0103 cic\u0103 habar n-avea ea \u00een mintea ei c\u0103 ce pericol ginecologic\u2026 pardon! ecologic z\u0103cea acolo\u2026 \u0218i d\u0103-i cu amenzi \u00een st\u00e2nga \u0219i-n dreapta, ca s\u0103 par\u0103 fioroas\u0103\u2026 Dup\u0103 pocinogul ista, venusienii d\u0103dur\u0103 vina p\u0103 romulani, c\u0103 d\u00e2n cauz\u0103 c\u0103 ei are o sl\u0103biciune p\u0103ntru fer, mai ales \u0103la vechi \u0219i ruginit\u2026 \u00cen sf\u00e2r\u0219it, ce mai \u00eencolo \u0219i-ncoace,avur\u0103 d\u0103 lucru s\u0103 ecologizeze zona cum se pricepur\u0103 \u0219i ei mai bine. A\u0219a c\u0103 ecologizar\u0103 ce ecologizar\u0103, zi de var\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103-n sear\u0103, dup\u0103 care o-ngropar\u0103! Adic\u0103 puser\u0103 p\u0103m\u00e2nt peste ce-a r\u0103mas\u2026 \u0218i gata,  pericolu\u2019 ecologic a trecut, iar uleiul \u0103la rezidual nici nu \u00eendr\u0103zne\u0219te s\u0103 se infiltreze \u00een p\u00e2nza noastr\u0103 freatic\u0103, p\u0103 care o avem de la facerea lumii! At\u00e2t \u00eei trebuie!&#8230; A fost oleac\u0103 d\u0103 fr\u0103suial\u0103 p-acilea p\u0103 la noi, d\u00e2n cauza la treaba asta! Ne-a dat \u0219i la televizor! Daaa! Ce mai? Ne \u0219tie toat\u0103 galaxia acuma! C\u0103 tot ne pl\u00e2ngeam noi c\u0103 nu \u0219tie niminea d\u0103 zbaterile noastre pentru progres \u0219i civiliza\u021bie!&#8230; Ei, da\u2019 acum e lini\u0219te, gata! Acuma, acolo au ap\u0103rut gardienii galaxiei cu misiune strict\u0103 s\u0103 p\u0103zeasc\u0103 ruinele fostei civiliza\u021bii, supraveghea\u021bi din umbr\u0103 de poli\u021bia planetei locale!<br \/>\n   Iote ce se mai \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 p\u0103 alte planete, fra\u021bilor! Da\u2019 nu-i panic\u0103! Au mai fost ruine pe planeta noastr\u0103 \u0219i a\u021bi v\u0103zut ce frumuse\u021be d\u0103 hipermarket a r\u0103s\u0103rit ca pas\u0103rea lu\u2019 Phoenix \u0103la! A\u0219a c\u0103, io, ca un mar\u021bian d\u0103 bine, crez c\u0103 \u0219i d\u00e2n ruinile astea o s\u0103 r\u0103sar\u0103 ceva\u2026 Hai, s\u0103n\u0103tate \u0219i ploi curate, fra\u021bilor, de pe orice planet\u0103 a\u021bi fi!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Fra\u021bilor \u00eentru pahare, m\u0103 \u0219ti\u021bi c\u0103 io sunt cam de pe alt\u0103 planet\u0103, da\u2019 d\u00e2n c\u00e2te am auzit \u0219i io<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":6291,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"colormag_page_container_layout":"default_layout","colormag_page_sidebar_layout":"default_layout","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"video_url":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[316,2],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6289"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6289"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6289\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6292,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6289\/revisions\/6292"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6291"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6289"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6289"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6289"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}