{"id":24586,"date":"2025-04-21T21:29:22","date_gmt":"2025-04-21T18:29:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/?p=24586"},"modified":"2025-04-21T21:29:22","modified_gmt":"2025-04-21T18:29:22","slug":"caruta-cu-virgule-primarul-la-proctolog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/?p=24586","title":{"rendered":"C\u0103ru\u021ba cu virgule – Primarul la proctolog"},"content":{"rendered":"

– Filic\u0103! Tu e\u0219ti, m\u0103? Io sunt, m\u0103, Gigel, pretenul t\u0103u din copil\u0103rie! Nu m\u0103 mai cuno\u0219ti? M\u0103, Filic\u0103, m\u0103\u0103!
\n– Salut, m\u0103… Gigel? Care Gigel?!
\n– Ei, las\u0103!… Ce mai faci, m\u0103? Ce m\u0103 bucur c\u0103 te rev\u0103d! Ce faci, cum e\u0219ti? Cu ce te mai ocupi?
\n– Aaaa… Gigel \u0103la! Ia-m\u0103 \u00eencet! Deci, \u00ee\u021bi r\u0103spund pe r\u00e2nd: bine, sunt primar!
\n– Oooo, bravo, m\u0103! Te-ai ajuns! De c\u00e2nd e\u0219ti primar?
\n– De… nu mai \u0219tiu! Mult timp!
\n– I-auzi! Nu te-a\u0219 fi crezut \u00een stare…
\n– M\u0103, nici io! Da` a\u0219a a vrut Dumnezeu! \u0218i electoratu`! Da` tu? Ce faci?
\n– Ei, las\u0103-m\u0103 pe mine! Io zic c\u0103 mai mult electoratu`, c\u0103 dac\u0103 era dup\u0103 Dumnezeu… \u0218i, \u00een rest?
\n– \u00cen rest, am un v\u0103r primar…
\n– \u0218i v\u0103r` tu e primar?
\n– Nu, m\u0103! Am un v\u0103r primar dup\u0103 mam\u0103, care m\u0103 sup\u0103r\u0103! La el m\u0103 duc acuma!
\n– De ce? Ce-a p\u0103\u021bit?
\n– El, nimica! Io am p\u0103\u021bit-o!
\n– Cu ce, adic\u0103?
\n– E doctor primar….
\n– M\u0103, da` tu numa` cu primari ai de-a face!
\n– Ascult\u0103-m\u0103, c\u0103 nu-i ce crezi! M-am dus la v\u0103ru` doctoru` primaru`, profesor \u00een proctologie…
\n– \u00cen ce m\u0103?! \u00cen prostologie? H\u0103, h\u0103!
\n– Nu r\u00e2de, m\u0103, dac\u0103 nu \u0219tii! Ai r\u0103bdare s\u0103-\u021bi spui!… Proctologia e cu… cu… e cu atunci c\u00e2nd zici c\u0103 te doare-n cur de to\u021bi \u0219i dup-aia sim\u021bi cum te doare! \u00cen\u021belegi?…
\n– \u0102\u0103\u0103\u0103, nu prea! Cum vine asta?
\n– P\u0103i, nu prea vine bine, m\u0103!… Deci m-am dus la v\u0103ru` primar \u00een proctologie \u0219i… i-am zis: \u201eVere, m\u0103 doar-n fund! R\u0103u!\u201d \u0218i el zice: \u201eAha! Ia s\u0103 vedem! Hai, jos textila \u0219i sus pe mas\u0103!\u201d… \u0218i io zic: \u201eB\u0103, vezi c\u0103, io nu-s de-\u0103la!\u201d… \u0218i el \u00ee\u0219i tr\u0103gea m\u0103nu\u0219ile alea de plastic pe m\u00e2ini, r\u00e2dea \u0219i-mi ar\u0103ta degetu` \u0103la mijlociu!
\n– \u0218i tu? Nu i l-ai ar\u0103tat?
\n– N-am mai avut timp! C\u0103 am f\u0103cut ce-a zis el… M-am urcat pe mas\u0103 \u0219i mi-a b\u0103gat de\u0219tu`…
\n– Unde?
\n– Unde! \u00een ureche, b\u0103! T\u00e2mpitu` dracului!… Unde se bag\u0103!
\n– \u00cen nas?
\n– Pfff!… M\u0103, unde \u021bi-am zis io c\u0103 m-am dus?
\n– La primar!
\n– La primar pe dracu`! La medic-primar, idiotule!
\n– Aaa, da!
\n– A\u0219a, \u0219i unde \u021bi-am zis c\u0103 m\u0103 durea p\u0103 mine?
\n– \u00cen cur, de toat\u0103 lumea, normal!
\n– P\u0103i, nu e normal, idiotule! Normal ar fi s\u0103 te doar\u0103 \u0219i pe tine acolo, chiar acum!
\n– Iaa! Da` de ce? De ce s\u0103 m\u0103 doar\u0103, c\u0103 io nu-s primar!
\n– Bine, m\u0103, las\u0103!… Credeam c\u0103 te-ai mai de\u0219teptat dup\u0103 at\u00e2ta vreme, da` v\u0103z c\u0103 nu! Ai \u00een\u021beles treaba cu de\u0219tu`?
\n– \u0102\u0103\u0103\u0103, nu! Da` zi mai departe, c\u0103-mi place!
\n– \u00ce\u021bi place, ai?… M\u0103 rog! B\u0103, \u0219i-mi bag\u0103 \u0103la ditamai de\u0219tu` \u0219i-l suce\u0219te \u0219i-l \u00eenv\u00e2rte\u0219te… de ziceam c\u0103 m\u0103-ntoarce pe dos!… \u0218i zice: \u201eVere primarule, e nasol!\u201d ,,Aoleu!\u201d zic. ,,O ai m\u0103rit\u0103!\u201d zice. \u0218i m-au trecut transpira\u021biile, c\u0103 io nu m\u0103 \u0219tiam cu ea at\u00e2ta de m\u0103rit\u0103! Adic\u0103, \u00eemi mai zicea secretara: ,,Ce mare o ai, ursule\u021b!\u201d, da` zicea \u0219i ea din polite\u021be!… \u0218i \u00eentreb: ,,\u0218i e de r\u0103u? C\u0103 io credeam c\u0103-i de bine!\u201d… \u0218i el zice. \u201eDe bine era dac\u0103 era m\u0103rit\u0103 aia la care te g\u00e2nde\u0219ti tu, vere! Da` nu de aia-i vorba! Prostata, m\u0103! Aia e m\u0103rit\u0103! De-aia te durea pe tine-n cur de toat\u0103 lumea!\u201d… \u0218i io zic: \u201eVere, io credeam c\u0103 to\u021bi \u0103ia ca mine au boala asta! C\u0103 e normal\u0103 durerea asta, c\u00e2nd e\u0219ti primar!\u201d… \u0218i el zice: \u201eEi, iote c\u0103 nu e! E mai bine s\u0103 nu te doar\u0103, dec\u00e2t s\u0103 te doar\u0103!\u201d… \u0218i io zic: ,,Aaaa, am \u00een\u021beles! Deci e mai bine s\u0103 nu te doar\u0103 nici \u00een fund de toat\u0103 lumea! Phiii, \u0219i io credeam c\u0103-s bolnav! S\u0103 tr\u0103ie\u0219ti, vere! Mi-ai luat o piatr\u0103 de pe prostat\u0103… \u0103\u0103\u0103, de pe inim\u0103! S\u0103-\u021bi dea Dumnezeu s\u0103n\u0103tate \u0219i s\u0103 nu te doar\u0103 nic\u0103ieri, niciodat\u0103, de nimeni!\u201d…
\n– Aha! \u0218i-acuma?
\n– \u0218i-acuma, ce, m\u0103?
\n– Te mai doare?
\n– Acolo, nu m\u0103 mai doare! \u00cen alt\u0103 parte simt o durere acuma!
\n– Aoleu! \u00cen ce parte?
\n– \u00cen… prim\u0103rie, m\u0103! \u00cen prim\u0103rie!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

– Filic\u0103! Tu e\u0219ti, m\u0103? Io sunt, m\u0103, Gigel, pretenul t\u0103u din copil\u0103rie! Nu m\u0103 mai cuno\u0219ti? M\u0103, Filic\u0103, m\u0103\u0103!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":19360,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"colormag_page_container_layout":"default_layout","colormag_page_sidebar_layout":"default_layout","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"video_url":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[316,2],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24586"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=24586"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24586\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24587,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24586\/revisions\/24587"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/19360"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=24586"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=24586"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=24586"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}