Auzind regretele poporului lor, so\u021bii Ceau\u0219escu cer \u0219ansa de a se \u00eentoarce din Iad s\u0103 repare ce-au stricat cu regimul comunist…
\n– Nicule! M\u0103, Nicule!… Mai e mult, m\u0103, p\u00e2n\u0103 ajungem?
\n– Leano, \u00ee\u021bi spusei c\u0103 nu mai e! Acu` ajungem!… Ia! Iote cine-i colo\u0219a!
\n– Unde? Unde? Cine-i?
\n– Tovar\u0103\u0219u` Lenin! Ia uite ce-l mai chinuie dracii!…
\n– Liliii, muic\u0103\u0103\u0103!… Da` r\u0103u! M\u0103, Nicule, parc\u0103 am avut \u0219i noi draci, da` nu ca \u0103\u0219tea!
\n– Da, Lenu\u021bo! C\u0103 p\u0103 noi ne-a-mpu\u0219cat ai no\u0219tri \u00een ajun de Cr\u0103ciun, la zi sf\u00e2nt\u0103, c\u0103 nici un drac nu vrea s\u0103 se apropie de noi!
\n– Phiii, Nicule! Mare dreptate ai!… Da` ia zi, mai mergem mult? C\u0103 m-am cam s\u0103turat!…
\n– Na! Vaaai de comunismul meu!… Tovar\u0103\u0219ul Stalin!… Tovar\u0103\u0219eee! B\u0103, tovar\u0103\u0219ee!… P\u0103 tine cine te-a luat, b\u0103\u0103\u0103? Mama dracilor sau to\u021bi dracii? H\u0103, h\u0103! Ce umoare d\u0103 glume am, Lenu\u021bo!…
\n– Ai, m\u0103 Nicule, ai! C\u0103 dac\u0103 n-aveai, nu te loam io de b\u0103rbat! C\u0103 mi-a pl\u0103cut c\u00e2nd m\u0103 d\u0103deai p\u0103 spate cu umoarea ta de glume!… Iete c\u0103-mi d\u0103 \u0219i l\u0103cr\u0103mili c\u00e2nd mi-aduc amintea de-atuncea!… Tovar\u0103\u0219e Staliiin! B\u0103\u0103\u0103, arz\u0103-te-ar focu`!… H\u0103, h\u0103, h\u0103!
\n– Las\u0103-l, Lenu\u021bo, nu vezi cum se chinuie? Unii zicea c\u0103 Stalin nu e mort, da` niminea nu l-a v\u0103zut aicea!… Iote-i \u0219i p\u0103 Dej \u0219i p\u0103 P\u00eervulescu… p\u0103 Nu\u021ba Pauker… p\u0103 Bodn\u0103ra\u0219… S\u0103racii de ei! Ce r\u0103u a ajuns!…
\n– M\u0103, Nicule, \u0219tii p\u0103 cine nu v\u0103z io?
\n– Ei! P\u0103 cine?
\n– M\u0103, io nu-l v\u0103z p\u0103 Iliescu \u0103la, m\u0103! C\u0103 m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc c\u0103 i-ar cam fi timpu`!
\n– Leano, dracii s\u0103 m\u0103 ia-napoi dac\u0103 \u0219tiu ce dracu` a f\u0103cut \u0103la de n-a ajuns aici\u0219a p\u00e2n-acuma!… Da` gata! Hai c-am ajuns! Iote Rom\u00e2nia noastr\u0103! Hai s\u0103 cobor\u00e2m!…
\n– M\u0103, Nicule, da` nu ne \u00eent\u00e2mpin\u0103 niminea, m\u0103?… Cine-i \u0219ef la protocol? S\u0103-l trimi\u021bi la Canal!
\n– Las\u0103, Lenu\u021bo, c\u0103 ne descurc\u0103m noi! C\u0103 doar am b\u0103tut \u021bara asta de-a lungu` \u0219i de-a latu` de-o cunosc ca-n palm\u0103!…
\n– Auzi, m\u0103, Nicule? Da` ce le mai spui la popor acuma? C\u0103 \u00eenainte mergea cu societatea socialist\u0103 multilateral dezvoltat\u0103, cu astea… Acuma, cic\u0103 \u0103\u0219tea a f\u0103cut de-aia… capitalism \u00eei zice! Ptiu, ptiu, ptiu! Cu \u0219omaje, cu privat\u0103 de-aia…
\n– Las\u0103, Leano, c\u0103 \u0219tiu io ce s\u0103 zic! Pi, tu de ce crezi c\u0103 jucam io table \u0219i \u0219eptic\u0103 cu tovar\u0103\u0219u` Nixon toat\u0103 ziua? Ca s\u0103-l trag de limba aia american\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 aflu \u0219i io cum devine treaba cu capitalismu` \u0103la! Tu s\u0103 taci, nu zici nimica! Las\u0103-m\u0103 pe mine s\u0103 vorbesc, nu te mai b\u0103ga peste mine, cum ai f\u0103cut \u00een balcon la CC!…
\n– Mdeaaa! Ce s\u0103 zic?! Iaca tac, na! Bine c\u0103 e\u0219ti tu d\u0103\u0219tept!…
\n– Dragi tovar\u0103\u0219i \u0219i domnilor! Stimat popor rom\u00e2n! Am auzit c\u0103 m\u0103 regreta\u021bi \u0219i am f\u0103cut pe dracu-n patru s\u0103 m\u0103-ntorc la voi! \u0218tiu c\u0103 nu v-a pl\u0103cut salamul cu soia din Alimentara \u0219i v-am iertat c\u0103 ne-a\u021bi dat suplimente de fier f\u0103r\u0103 voia noastr\u0103!… A\u0219a c\u0103 o s\u0103 schimb\u0103m foaia \u0219i o s\u0103 fac Primul Congres al Partidelor Capitaliste din Rom\u00e2nia! \u00cel facem la Sala Palatului, ca-n vremurile bune, c-am auzit c\u0103 a\u021bi p\u0103strat-o neschimbat\u0103 p\u00e2n-acuma! M-a\u021bi impresionat cu asta!… Voi propune s\u0103 schimb\u0103m numele Ministerului Propagandei cu Departamentul de Marketing \u0219i Publicitate, c\u0103 am auzit c\u0103 a\u0219a se zice \u00een capitalism!… A\u0219aa! Rog to\u021bi tovar\u0103\u0219ii s\u0103 dea share pe grupurile de whatsapp, pe Insta \u0219i Tik-Tok, s\u0103 vin\u0103 poporul! Tovar\u0103\u0219ii secretari de partid de la jude\u021be… ei, m\u0103 rog!… sau cum le zice-acuma… pre\u0219edin\u021bii de consilii jude\u021bene! \u0218i vede\u021bi s\u0103 ave\u021bi reach ca lumea, s\u0103 ne mobiliz\u0103m, da? S\u0103 se mobilizeze, s\u0103 se scoat\u0103 masele largi populare din fabrici \u0219i uzine… sta\u021bi, c\u0103 m-a luat valu`! Am uitat c\u0103 acuma nu mai ave\u021bi fabrici \u0219i uzine! M\u0103 rog…. de prin mall-uri \u0219i din s\u0103lile de jocuri \u0219i pariuri! S\u0103 vie \u00een num\u0103r mare, fiecare cu ce are, cu furci \u0219i cu topoare… \u0218i \u0103ia de peste hotare! H\u0103, h\u0103! Glumesc, m\u0103!… Tovar\u0103\u0219i! V\u0103z c\u0103 \u021bara asta a cam r\u0103mas f\u0103r\u0103 oaminii muncii p\u0103 care io-i iubeam \u0219i le-am dat puteri, le-am dat p\u00e2ine p\u0103 cartel\u0103, salam p\u0103 sub m\u00e2n\u0103, portocale \u0219i banane de Mo\u0219 Geril\u0103, le-am dat case prin sindicate… S\u0103 vie to\u021bi! S\u0103 vie \u0219i Ilescu, m\u0103! S\u0103 vie, c\u0103 \u0219tiu c\u0103-i viu! Spune\u021bi-i c\u0103 l-am iertat \u0219i vreau s\u0103-l pui secretar la tineretu` de pe internet!… Apropo d\u0103 internet! S\u0103 face\u021bi totu` s\u0103 avem oairles la congres, s\u0103 se puie p\u0103 iutubu` \u0103la s\u0103 vaz\u0103 toat\u0103 planeta c\u0103 comunismu` n-a muritu`, doar o \u021b\u00e2r` s-o hodinitu… S\u0103 vaz\u0103 lumea c\u0103 \u0219i comuni\u0219tii poate s\u0103 fie capitali\u0219ti de-\u0103ia, corporati\u0219ti p\u0103 planta\u021bii!… M\u0103, Brucan mai e?… Nu? P\u0103cat! C\u0103 i-a\u0219 fi zis io vreo dou\u0103\u0103\u0103\u0103!… Bine c\u0103 s-a dus! Nu l-am v\u0103zut, c\u0103 la c\u00e2t e Iadu` \u0103la de mare, nici nu po\u021bi s\u0103 faci at\u00e2tea vizite de lucru s\u0103 te-nt\u00e2lne\u0219ti cu to\u021bi! O fi la alt departament! Io am tot zis c\u0103 trebuie umblat la departamentu` de ha\u0219er, care nu s\u0103 achit\u0103 de sarcinile d\u0103 partid \u0219i de stat \u0219i nu aduce oamini noi, numa` de-\u0103ia vechi!… Ce-a\u0219 mai face io un Canal cu \u0103\u0219teaaa!… Da` nu se mai poate! Acu`, chiar de m-a\u0219 \u00eentoarce, a-n\u021belege nu mai pot! Unde e\u0219ti Securitate, cu b\u0103taia ta, cu tot?… Na, c\u0103 prinsei s\u0103 l\u0103cr\u0103mez! Lenu\u021bo, d\u0103-mi un \u0219erve\u021bel de-\u0103la cu parfum de comunism!…
\n– Iaca, na! C\u0103 dac\u0103 n-aveam io grij\u0103\u0103\u0103!
\n– Da, Lenu\u021bo, ai dreptate! Ai avut mereu grij\u0103! Ai avut grij\u0103 s\u0103 aduni p\u00e2n\u0103 \u0219i gloan\u021bele alea cu miez de o\u021bel, s\u0103 le ai amintire!…
\n– Ei, da` ce? Dac\u0103 tot ni le-a tras copiii \u0103ia?!… Nu erea p\u0103cat s\u0103 se piarz\u0103?I Bine c\u0103 le luai io repede, c\u0103 \u0219i veni Voican \u0103la s\u0103 le caute s\u0103 le ia el!
\n– Hai, gata, c\u0103 uitai ce vrusei s\u0103 zic!… Deci, dragi tovar\u0103\u0219i \u0219i domnilor! Io nu-i \u0219tiu p\u0103 copiii \u0103\u0219tea de-acuma care-s pre\u0219edin\u021bi p-acolo p\u0103 la partidele lor, da` am auzit c\u0103 au origini s\u0103n\u0103toase, sunt cadre de n\u0103dejde ale organiza\u021biilor noastre. Dar, tovar\u0103\u0219i, nu sunt de acord cu dezbinarea asta \u00eentre noi! Propun s\u0103 facem o fuziune prin absorb\u021bie, cum se face, adic\u0103 s\u0103 se refac\u0103 partidul \u0103la unic care erea odat\u0103! Dac\u0103 s-au f\u0103cut alian\u021be de-alea contra naturii liberalo-social-democrate, nu v\u0103z care ar fi problema s\u0103 fie un singur partid? Ar fi mai economic, tovar\u0103\u0219i! Un singur partid, un singur pre\u0219edinte, o singur\u0103 dictatur\u0103!… Na, c\u0103 iar m-a luat valu`! Defect preziden\u021bial!… M\u0103, \u0219i apropo de pre\u0219edinte!… M\u0103, cum i-a\u021bi tot g\u0103sit p-\u0103\u0219tia de i-a\u021bi ales dup\u0103 mine? Dup\u0103 carnetul de partid?… Mai ales p-\u0103sta de-acuma! M\u0103, s\u0103 nu vie el s\u0103 ne-a\u0219tepte cu garda de onoare constituit\u0103 cu prilejul sosirii noastre care s\u0103 ne prezinte onorul? Pu\u021bin respect, ce dracu`! Dac-ar auzi Nicu\u0219or, s\u0103racu\u201e ce oamini a ie\u0219it din Sibiul lui unde le-a fost baci p\u00e2n\u0103 la ad\u00e2nci tinere\u021bi… Mai bine s\u0103 nu \u0219tie, z\u0103u! C\u0103-i iute la m\u00e2nie \u0219i degrab\u0103 b\u0103utoriu de whisky \u0219i vodc\u0103 cu caviar \u0219i nu-l v\u0103z bine p-\u0103sta de-acuma! Bine, nu-l v\u0103z deloc, da` vorba vine!… Phiiiu, am obosit! Hai, tovar\u0103\u0219i! La munc\u0103! Tr\u0103iasc\u0103 \u0219i \u00eenfloreasc\u0103 Republica Social-Liberal\u0103 Rom\u00e2nia, \u00eempreun\u0103 cu pre\u0219edintele s\u0103u, domnul tovar\u0103\u0219 Nicolae Ceau\u0219escu! Ceau\u0219escu-PSL!…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Auzind regretele poporului lor, so\u021bii Ceau\u0219escu cer \u0219ansa de a se \u00eentoarce din Iad s\u0103 repare ce-au stricat cu regimul<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":19360,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"colormag_page_container_layout":"default_layout","colormag_page_sidebar_layout":"default_layout","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"video_url":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[316,2],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23149"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=23149"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23149\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23150,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23149\/revisions\/23150"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/19360"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=23149"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=23149"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=23149"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}