\u00cen viitorul nu prea \u00eendep\u0103rtat…
\n– Bun\u0103 diminea\u021ba, cet\u0103\u021bene 14786432! Ast\u0103zi trebuie s\u0103-\u021bi actualizezi executabilele. Te rog s\u0103-\u021bi verifici interfa\u021ba neuronal\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 descarci ultimele versiuni.
\n– B\u0103i, azi n-am chef! Pot s\u0103 dau skip?
\n– Cet\u0103\u021bene, \u00ee\u021bi este permis\u0103 aceast\u0103 activitate, \u00eens\u0103 doar o singur\u0103 dat\u0103! Te rug\u0103m s\u0103-\u021bi folose\u0219ti aceast\u0103 op\u021biune cu responsabilitate…
\n– Ho, m\u0103! Nebunule! Gata, am \u00een\u021beles! `\u021bi-ar softu` al dracu`!
\n– Alert\u0103 de limbaj! Alert\u0103 de limbaj! Te avertiz\u0103m c\u0103 ai \u00eenc\u0103lcat codul exprim\u0103rii, capitolul X, paragraful 2, aliniatul 1, sec\u021biunea ,,\u00cenjur\u0103turi \u0219i alte blesteme\u201d! \u00cenc\u0103lcarea repetat\u0103 a acestor reguli va atrage suspendarea func\u021biunii limbii timp de 3 zile! Conform eviden\u021belor noastre, dvs a\u021bi dep\u0103\u0219it num\u0103rul maxim de expresii interzise, de 23156 de ori \u00een 7 zile \u0219i a\u021bi fost deja sanc\u021bionat cu interzicerea vorbirii de alte 1987 de ori \u0219i cu plata amenzilor \u00een valoare de 2376 criptoroni. V\u0103 rug\u0103m s\u0103 fi\u021bi responsabil \u0219i s\u0103 folosi\u021bi doar limbajul permis de autorit\u0103\u021bi!
\n– Aoleu!… Doamne fere\u0219te!
\n– Alert\u0103 de limbaj! Alert\u0103 de limbaj!…
\n– Da` ce-am mai zis, b\u0103?!
\n– A\u021bi folosit alt\u0103 denumire a Creatorului \u00een afara celei permise! V\u0103 reamintim c\u0103 exist\u0103 un singur Creator \u0219i acela este Master Musk \u0219i nu pute\u021bi avea alt Creator \u00een afar\u0103 de El! Orice alt\u0103 referire la alt\u0103 entitate este cu des\u0103v\u00e2r\u0219ire interzis\u0103 \u0219i se pedepse\u0219te cu paralizie temporar\u0103 a nervilor motrici. Preg\u0103ti\u021bi-v\u0103 de paralizie! Paralizie \u00een 5… 4…
\n– B\u0103, b\u0103, b\u0103! Stai oleac\u0103! Time out! Pauz\u0103!… E prima dat\u0103! Nu-mi da\u021bi un avertisment?
\n– 3… 2… Directiv\u0103 schimbat\u0103 \u00een paralizie cu suspendare! Activare \u00een 3… 2… 1 Activ!
\n– A\u0219a, m\u00e2nca-\u021bi-a\u0219! Tr\u0103i\u021bi-ar familia ta de android!
\n– Sunt androidul XC-2075 din familia SMART, anul na\u0219terii 2052, versiune de soft 11.0, full…
\n– Pfff!… Bun\u0103 ziua am dat, belea mi-am c\u0103p\u0103tat!… Gata, b\u0103, am \u00een\u021beles!
\n– Cet\u0103\u021bene 14786432, ce task-uri vre\u021bi s\u0103 \u00eendeplini\u021bi azi? Dori\u021bi s\u0103 \u00eencepe\u021bi ziua cu ingurgitarea aceluia\u0219i lichid fierbinte, de culoare maronie? Pe ecranul din fa\u021ba dvs ave\u021bi op\u021biunea yes sau no! Vizualiza\u021bi \u00een minte op\u021biunea \u0219i ve\u021bi putea selecta una din cele 200 de b\u0103uturi disponibile.
\n– Mdaaa! Ia s\u0103 vedem… Ap\u0103 plat\u0103… ap\u0103 mineral\u0103… ap\u0103 distilat\u0103… ap\u0103 grea… ap\u0103 de ploaie… ap\u0103 micelar\u0103… ap\u0103 de trandafiri… derulez…. A\u0219a! Aici! Cafea lung\u0103… cafea cu lapte… Asta!
\n– A\u021bi selectat op\u021biunea ,,Cafea cu lapte\u201d! B\u0103utura dvs va fi gata \u00een 3… 2… 1! Drink ready! Enjoy!
\n– Heeei! A\u0219a mai merge!… B\u0103, io nu \u0219tiu cum tr\u0103iau \u0103ia p\u0103 vremuri, f\u0103r\u0103 tehnologiile astea! Iote, par egzamplu io, n-a\u0219 putea s\u0103 tr\u0103iesc f\u0103r\u0103 androidu` \u0103sta! N-am nicio grij\u0103, are el grij\u0103 de toate!… Ce s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nc, ce s\u0103 beau, c\u00e2t s\u0103 dorm! Ca s\u0103 tr\u0103iesc 200 de ani \u0219i s\u0103 mor s\u0103n\u0103tos!… Phiii! Parc\u0103 am chef s\u0103 fac ni\u0219te urma\u0219i de-\u0103ia cum se f\u0103ceau odat\u0103! B\u0103, XC! Ia adu-mi aminte cum se f\u0103ceau odat\u0103 minioamenii?
\n– Cererea dvs este procesat\u0103!… Infoma\u021bie disponibil\u0103! \u00cenainte de Marea Muskizare, versiunile umane mai mici se f\u0103ceau prin mijloace primitive, senzoriale. Cet\u0103\u021beanul parte masculin\u0103 c\u0103uta un cet\u0103\u021bean parte feminin\u0103 cu care s\u0103 fie compatibil pentru \u00eemperechere. C\u0103utarea putea dura uneori \u0219i toat\u0103 durata de func\u021bionare, \u00eens\u0103, de cele mai multe ori, cele dou\u0103 versiuni se \u00eent\u00e2lneau. Dup\u0103 o scurt\u0103 verificare reciproc\u0103 a anatomiilor, se producea inser\u021bia stick-ului \u00een usb, urmat apoi de downloadul materialului genetic fluid. Efectul era vizibil dup\u0103 nou\u0103 luni, c\u00e2nd minicreatura era expulzat\u0103 printr-o fant\u0103 creat\u0103 special pentru acest scop!…
\n– Ia, ia, ia! Stop aci! B\u0103, io am auzit de faza asta! Cic\u0103 str\u0103mo\u0219ii no\u0219tri erau \u00eennebuni\u021bi dup\u0103 ea! Cic\u0103 umblau cu to\u021bi cu stick-urile pline de informa\u021bii s\u0103 le downloadeze \u00een porturile usb. Da` cic\u0103 era doar varianta usb 1.0… Deh! Primitivi, ce s\u0103 le ceri?!… Zi mai departe! Da` d\u0103 \u0219i tu p\u0103 fast forward, oleac\u0103!…
\n– Confirm! Procesul de fabrica\u021bie al minicreaturii dura nou\u0103 luni, dup\u0103 care, i se ad\u0103ugau diferite update-uri \u0219i upgrade-uri. Uneori, proprietarii regretau c\u0103 n-au folosit softuri originale \u0219i au preferat s\u0103 crack-uiasc\u0103 mai ieftin pentru c\u0103, la un moment dat, c\u00e2nd se virusa \u0219i o lua razna, ar fi vrut s\u0103-l readuc\u0103 la set\u0103rile din fabric\u0103, dar nu mai era posibil! A\u0219a c\u0103 au fost nevoi\u021bi s\u0103-l accepte a\u0219a \u0219i s\u0103-l upgradeze \u00een continuare conform cerin\u021belor acestuia, tot mai insistente…
\n– B\u0103, da` ce preten\u021bii! Io-i d\u0103deam un reset de firmware peste ochi, de nu se vedea! Pfooai de mine! P\u0103i, s\u0103 fi f\u0103cut io a\u0219a p\u0103 vremea mea? \u00cemi d\u0103deau cu CD-urile de instalare \u00een cap! Nu mai pupam io upgrade-uri!… Da, gata! Nu mai povesti c\u0103 m-am enervat!… D\u0103-mi o scanare la cip, s\u0103 v\u0103d cum stau cu circuitele \u0219i dup\u0103 aia m-a\u0219 b\u0103ga oleac\u0103 \u00een stand-by!… C\u0103, acu\u0219 r\u0103sare Saturn \u0219i io nu mi-am \u00eenc\u0103rcat bateriile!…
\n– Sleep mode activated!…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00cen viitorul nu prea \u00eendep\u0103rtat… – Bun\u0103 diminea\u021ba, cet\u0103\u021bene 14786432! Ast\u0103zi trebuie s\u0103-\u021bi actualizezi executabilele. Te rog s\u0103-\u021bi verifici interfa\u021ba<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":19360,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"colormag_page_container_layout":"default_layout","colormag_page_sidebar_layout":"default_layout","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"video_url":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[316,2],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21499"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=21499"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21499\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21500,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21499\/revisions\/21500"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/19360"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=21499"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=21499"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=21499"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}