{"id":20077,"date":"2023-01-05T22:38:53","date_gmt":"2023-01-05T19:38:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/?p=20077"},"modified":"2023-01-05T23:01:38","modified_gmt":"2023-01-05T20:01:38","slug":"brigada-diverse-joi-ling-o-rece","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/?p=20077","title":{"rendered":"Brigada diverse &#8211; (J)oi l(i)ng (o)&#8230; (r)ece"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>4 ianuarie 2023<\/strong><br \/>\n       Dintr-o dat\u0103 suntem mai b\u0103tr\u00e2ni. Dar a\u0219a, peste noapte. O ipostaz\u0103 ce mimeaz\u0103 trecerea peste ani, asumarea momentului prin contabilizarea m\u0103ririi copiilor, proprii, a ritmului \u00eencetinit&#8230;. O ipostaz\u0103&#8230;.<br \/>\n        Sub rochii&#8230; surpriza. Afaceri&#8230; superbe, c\u00e2nd induci una \u0219i prezentarea-i alta. A\u0219a se face c\u0103 un astfel de site, infiltrat f\u0103r\u0103 voia utilizatorului, \u00een dorin\u021ba de publicitate, apeleaz\u0103 la&#8230; rudele apropiate pentru a vinde. Treningul nu avea nimic. Negru, sobru. Nu \u0219i purt\u0103toarea. O recent\u0103 baborni\u021b\u0103 cu ochelari, cu gu\u0219\u0103, cu un sur\u00e2s \u0219i cu o grimas\u0103 ce denot\u0103 lipsa total\u0103 de ,,profesionalism\u201d. S-o spunem p-aia dreapt\u0103, mai c\u0103 n-a pufnit \u00een r\u00e2s c\u00e2nd i s-au imortalizat cele dou\u0103 instantanee fotografice. Sughi\u021ba h\u00e2rca foto-model. A! Era \u0219i gras\u0103, \u0219i tuns\u0103 scurt, \u0219i vopsit\u0103 prost, \u0219i cu ceas la m\u00e2na st\u00e2ng\u0103.<br \/>\n        E miraculos s\u0103 fotografiezi la milioane de ani lumin\u0103 \u0219i totu\u0219i s\u0103 nu ai imagini clare, \u00een detaliu de pe planetele dimprejur, ba ai mai cheltuit c\u00e2teva c\u0103ru\u021be de bani s\u0103 arunci fel de fel de n\u0103vu\u021be spa\u021biale \u00een spa\u021biu pentru a afla mai nimic sau foarte pu\u021bine. \u0218i nu mai punem c\u00e2t de repede se schimb\u0103 tehnologia \u0219i cum azi pare c\u0103 ai solu\u021bia cea mai bun\u0103, iar a doua zi nu mai realizezi nimic cu ea. Cum Hubble era fenomenal ieri &#8211; de\u0219i cu defec\u021biuni greu reparabile, cu studii la sol \u00eendelungate \u0219i chin de montat &#8211; \u0219i azi Webb are atributele lui dumnezeu. \u0218i \u0103stuia lu\u00e2ndu-i aproape anul p\u00e2n\u0103 s\u0103 transmit\u0103 ni\u0219te ,,praf cosmic\u201d de la naiba cu c\u0103r\u021bi.<br \/>\n       Copii de minune \u0219i marile facult\u0103\u021bi care \u00eei ,,selecteaz\u0103\u201d&#8230;. Dac\u0103 \u0219i asta \u00eenseamn\u0103 cernere. Interviu \u00een care date ca numele&#8230;. Ce \u00ee\u021bi vine s\u0103 faci de obicei, ce \u00ee\u021bi trece prin minte c\u0103 ai vrea s\u0103 fii, vreo cinci. La fel \u0219i \u00een scris. S\u0103 fie 650 de cuvinte. Ap\u0103i&#8230; hai la facultate, \u00een str\u0103in\u0103tate!<br \/>\n      B\u0103tr\u00e2ne\u021bea, fir-ar! Dar \u0219i disimulata grij\u0103. Cum ar fi a papei pentru papa ce-i precedase. C\u0103-i grav bolnav&#8230;. S\u0103 nu fie la 95 ani?<br \/>\n      Uite-a\u0219a cre\u0219te popula\u021bia Terrei, cu c\u00e2te un ugandez c\u0103ruia i s-a permis s\u0103 procreeze cu 12 femei deodat\u0103. 102 puradei negri ca tuciul. 568 de puradici din categoria a doua. Acu la 67 de ani ,,obligat\u201d s\u0103 depun\u0103 armele&#8230;. \u00cen fapt s\u0103 nu mai mearg\u0103 cu nevestele la maternitate, s\u0103 aib\u0103 sex doar de pl\u0103cere. Doamnelor, trecem pe anticoncep\u021bionale!<br \/>\n       A\u021bi v\u0103zut cum arat\u0103 stafiile prin documentare cu apari\u021bii misterioase? Exact a\u0219a par eu \u00een cele patru fotografii de la recep\u021bia primarului. Ba-n una am ochelarii ce sticlesc precum ochii pisicilor noaptea \u00een lumin\u0103.<br \/>\n        Uite-o, nu-i! Dar a fost. Cam acesta este sistemul de recep\u021bie propus de doi ingineri &#8211; aici era bun cu vot de blam personajul ,,big bang theory\u201d Sheldon: adic\u0103 la ce-s buni inginerii \u0219i cum pot fi lua\u021bi drept oameni de \u0219tiin\u021b\u0103? -, s\u0103 fie viteza luminii, s\u0103 treac\u0103 prin dreptul rcf-ului \u0219i cam asta e: au trecut extratere\u0219trii. Mai mult de at\u00e2t, cic\u0103 i-ar \u0219i \u00eencetini. Marea problem\u0103 este alta: n-au ei nave s\u0103 ating\u0103 viteza. Nici fizicienii nu-s mai pu\u021bin de\u0219tep\u021bi. Ligo-al lor ar face acela\u0219i lucru, numai s\u0103 le fie nava cam de m\u0103rimea lui Jupiter.<br \/>\n         Alo! Cine este b1tv ca s\u0103 ofere o \u0219tire de luat \u00een seam\u0103? S\u0103-i v\u00e2nd\u0103 cine o vrea cui o vrea ac\u021biunile. Auzi la ei, bomb\u0103 media!<br \/>\n       S\u0103 nu m-apuce boala lui Calache. Nu alta, doar o lene indefinit\u0103.<br \/>\n       Doamn\u0103 judec\u0103tor, merge\u021bi \u0219i perfuza\u021bi-v\u0103 cu niscai corectitudine \u0219i legisla\u021bie, nu cu ,,dumnezeu, prunc \u0219i fecioar\u0103\u201d. De\u0219i, de le-a\u021bi ingera, ar fi lumea mai dreapt\u0103 \u0219i leprele s-ar ,,bucura\u201d de sistemul de peniten\u021b\u0103 la adev\u0103rata valoare.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>4 ianuarie 2023 Dintr-o dat\u0103 suntem mai b\u0103tr\u00e2ni. Dar a\u0219a, peste noapte. O ipostaz\u0103 ce mimeaz\u0103 trecerea peste ani, asumarea<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":8973,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"colormag_page_container_layout":"default_layout","colormag_page_sidebar_layout":"default_layout","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"video_url":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[323,2],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20077"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=20077"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20077\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20082,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20077\/revisions\/20082"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8973"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=20077"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=20077"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziarulderimnic.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=20077"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}